


Never Disrespect a God

by sonofthanatos



Series: Percy Jackson and the South Park Kids [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, South Park
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fights, Friendship, Humor, Kidnapping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25629271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonofthanatos/pseuds/sonofthanatos
Summary: Craig's actions in Peru come back to haunt him. And the world.Sequel to “A Quiet Mountain Town”
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Series: Percy Jackson and the South Park Kids [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855630
Comments: 10
Kudos: 32





	Never Disrespect a God

"With tensions rising throughout Central and South America, and at least two cartel wars erupting, the entire continent of South America is on the brink of general warfare. In a statement from the White House Press Office, the President is said to be monitoring the situation closely and-"

Impatiently Clyde changed the input settings on the TV and turned on the Switch, passing out controllers for their Mario Kart Tournament. "I call King Boo!" He announced.

"Dibs on T-t-t-t...Dibs on Toooooad!" Jimmy called out, setting a bowl of chips between himself and Token.

As the others chose their characters, Craig sat down next to Tweek, feeling the familiar twinge of annoyance at their new height difference. _He_ was used to being the tall one in the relationship! Tweek smiled down at him, obviously enjoying the fact that he was a few inches taller for now. "You wanna snuggle under my arm?" He teased.

Craig looked at him in annoyance, then surprised everybody by grudgingly nodding. Tweek wrapped an arm around Craig understandingly, and Craig leaned into him.

"Boys, we're stepping out for that PTA meeting now." Craig's mom announced, sticking her head in the living room. "I put the money for the pizza on the table. Tricia's upstairs, be sure to share it with her when it gets here."

"Ok." Craig answered, never taking his eyes off the screen as Jimmy blasted Tweek with a shell. A minute later the door closed as his parents left.

Three rounds later, the doorbell rang. Tricia appeared downstairs just as the pizza delivery guy left and grabbed a plate. "Hey losers." She said flatly, taking a few slices. "Hi Tweek."

"Why does he get special treatment?" Clyde asked.

"Because of all the charity work he does." She answered, pouring herself a glass of pop.

"Ch-ch-ch-charity work?" Jimmy asked, glancing at Tweek in confusion. He shrugged.

"He puts up with my fuckboy brother enough to date him. That's more charitable than the Pope!" She and Craig flipped each other off as his friends burst out laughing before she disappeared upstairs again.

The boys returned to the living room and settled around the couch, arguing over what movie to watch before finally deciding on "How to Train Your Dragon" when Clyde saw the case on Craig's shelf. They started it up...and the power went out.

"CRAIG YOU ASSHOLE, WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Tricia screeched from upstairs.

"It wasn't me!" Craig shouted back up at her. He opened the curtains to look outside as Tricia stomped down the stairs and joined the boys.

"It doesn't look like anybody else lost power." Token commented. "Maybe check your fuse box and WHOA!" They all jumped back as something huge suddenly shot in front of the window, blocking their view. The house was pitched into darkness as every window was suddenly covered.

"We're going to die!" Clyde wailed.

"GAH! It's those guinea creatures again!" Tweek shrieked .

Ignoring them both, Craig pulled his phone out and turned on a flashlight app. His friends and Tricia quickly gathered around the light.

Slowly, quietly, they made their way to the garage and grabbed flashlights for everybody, including a headlamp for Jimmy, and Craig took his baseball bat as well. The entire group looked at the button to open the door, each of them silently debating it. Craig slowly reached for it...and something HUGE banged into the door. The boys and Tricia ran back into the house, Craig instinctively locking the door behind him. Tricia ran ahead and did the same thing with the front door.

CRASH! The sound of broken glass erupted from the back of the house. Clyde was full on bawling at this point, while Token and Jimmy both looked terrified. Tweek was twitching crazily but had a determined look in his eyes; he took a broom out of the closet and held it like a spear.

"CRAIG TUCKER." The voice wasn't yelling, but it rumbled through the house; the force of it shook the walls. Clyde held his hands over his mouth to keep from screaming. "COME TO ME, CRAIG TUCKER. WE MUST TALK."

They all held still and listened, but as the voice faded away the house was absolutely silent. Creeping forward, Craig cautiously peered into the kitchen. The sliding glass door to the backyard had been completely destroyed, sending broken glass everywhere. The table had been thrown against the wall, and most of the room was filled by...something.

It looked kind of like a snake, if a snake's head could be the size of an SUV. It was covered in feathers that ruffled and blew despite the lack of wind, and the giant, dark eyes locked onto Craig. A strange smell filled the room; it was indescribable and somehow gave off the impression of being very old.

The creature's eyes locked onto the group, scanning them over. "CRAIG TUCKER?" It asked, staring at them.

"OH GOD, DON'T EAT ME!" Clyde screeched, totally hysterical. He was bawling now. "MOMMY, I'M COMING!!!"

Grabbing Clyde by his shirt collar, Tricia hauled him backwards. Guided by years of practice, Token bent down and Jimmy climbed onto his back; the crutches were abandoned as they backed out carefully. "Come on, loser!" Tricia shouted back at Craig. Craig looked over his shoulder to see that Tweek hadn’t run; he was standing behind Craig with his broom raised, ready to fight.

"I AM NOT GOING TO EAT YOU." The glasses clinked as they rattled in the cupboards from the sheer power of that voice. "I AM HERE TO SPEAK WITH THE ONE KNOWN AS CRAIG."

Craig stared at the creature, stepping in front of Tweek. "Who are you? What do you want?"

“I SEEK THE ONE KNOWN AS CRAIG TUCKER. BE HE YOU?”

Craig’s eyes narrowed. “Yes.”

"MY NAME IS QUETZALCOATL." The eyes narrowed at Craig. "RECENTLY THERE WAS A GREAT SUMMIT, INVOLVING MANY DEITIES FROM MANY CULTURES, TO DISCUSS THE RECENT EVENTS IN PERU AND THE DESTRUCTION OF THE GUINEA CREATURES."

Annoyance flooded through Craig. Not Peru AGAIN!

Queztalcoatl continued. "AT THIS MEETING, INTI MADE AN INSULTING GESTURE TOWARDS ME, BELIEVING THAT IT WAS A MORTAL SYMBOL OF AFFECTION. I UNDERSTAND THIS WAS DUE TO CRAIG’S INFLUENCE."

Craig didn’t bother to respond, he just waited.

"ARE YOU AWARE THE ENTIRE CONTINENT IS CURRENTLY ABOUT TO GO TO WAR OVER THIS GESTURE?"

"Are you aware that I really don't care?" Craig shot back.

"WHAT YOU CARE ABOUT IS IRRELEVANT. YOU MUST COME TO PERU AND OFFER AN APOLOGY TO ALL PRESENT AT THE SUMMIT, LEST THE ENTIRE CONTINENT BE DRIVEN INTO A CIVIL WAR. MANY MORTAL LIVES ARE IN PERIL UNLESS YOU ACT."

"You want me to apologize for being pissed that my friends got put in danger, that my boyfriend got kidnapped, and that I had to go to Peru AGAIN?"

"YES."

"Can’t you just eat him?" Tricia's voice shouted, but Quetzalcoatl ignored her.

"IF YOU EXPRESS REMORSE TO THE OTHER DEITIES WE CAN GET BACK TO A NORMAL STATE OF AFFAIRS."

"Good luck in the war." Craig said flatly. Turning his back deliberately, he took Tweek's hand. "Come on, honey." He led his boyfriend back into the living room, stopping just long enough to grab Jimmy’s crutches off the floor.

"YOU CANNOT AVOID THIS.”

"Yes I can." Craig answered flatly.

“THE WAR WILL COST THOUSANDS OF LIVES."

“I don’t care.” Craig replied, pointedly returning to the living room.

There was no answer, but the sound of heavy breathing continued.

"What's going on?!" Hissed Token. He, Clyde and Jimmy were all cautiously peering up from behind the couch.

"Yeah Craig. Wh-what's the deal?" Jimmy asked. Tweek passed his crutches over and he slowly stood up, the other two following suit. Clyde was still crying, and Tweek hurried over and tried to comfort him, patting his arm and hugging him.

Craig sighed. "Remember that I told you my dad adopted me and my biological dad is an Inca god? I flipped him off, then he flipped off another God, and now there's a civil war brewing."

"You flipped off a God?" Token sounded both shocked and impressed.

"Wait. South America is going to w-w-w-w…” Jimmy stopped, took a deep breath, then tried again. “South America is going to war! It's all over the n-n-news. That's because of you?!" Jimmy sounded stunned.

"Dammit Craig, do you have to be such an asshole?!" Tricia demanded.

"Like you would have done anything different." Craig shot back. Tricia shrugged, not arguing.

“I’m going back to my room. Call me if Craig dies.” She called out to Token, heading back up the stairs.

"Craig, just apologize." Token suggested. "Tell him you're sorry."

"The hell with that. They got Tweek kidnapped! I'm not giving them anything." Craig said firmly.

Token turned and very cautiously looked into the other room. "Mr. Quetzalcoatl?"

"YES, MORTAL CHILD?"

"Umm...what exactly happens if Craig doesn't apologize?"

"CENTRAL AND SOUTH AMERICA WILL ERUPT INTO A BLOODY CIVIL WAR. MANY LIVES WILL BE LOST. EVENTUALLY, THE CONFLICT WILL SPREAD AROUND YOUR ENTIRE WORLD. I DO NOT WISH TO SEE THIS HAPPEN, SO I INTEND TO TRAP YOU IN YOUR HOME UNTIL AN APOLOGY IS MADE."

The kids all looked instinctively at the window; it was still blacked out. The truth hit them all at the same time: Quetzalcoatl had wrapped his whole body around the house!

Out of sheer instinct, Token managed a trembling “Thank you, Mr. Quetzalcoatl,” as he slowly eased himself back out of the kitchen and turned to face Craig, his heart beating fast.

"Craig, you have to apologize." He said quietly.

"No, I really don't." Craig answered flatly. "Inti deserved to be flipped off, I stand by that."

To his surprise, Clyde broke away from Tweek and started towards him; he was still crying, but at least he was just sniffling now, not wailing like earlier. Craig reached out to pat him comfortingly on the shoulder, but out of nowhere Clyde grabbed his hat.

“Hey!” He protested, but suddenly Token was there, forcing his blue jacket off him.

“If you’re not going to fix this, I will!” Clyde managed through his tears. “Cartman says I sound like you anyways!”

“Clyde, you’re awesome!” Token told him as they fought to get Craig’s clothes off. “Only you would cry while you tried to stop World War III.”

The next thing Craig knew, he stood there in just his light shirt and underpants, while Clyde was putting on the rest of his clothes. He stared in disbelief as Clyde, still crying with fear, cautiously stepped towards the kitchen, Token close behind him. They stood just around the corner, visibly gathering their courage.

Tweek and Jimmy both glared at Craig. “You shouldn’t make him do this.” Tweek said softly. “Stop being stubborn and just apologize.”

“Yeah Craig. Sack the f-f-f-fuck up.” Jimmy told him.

Clyde finally managed to step into the kitchen, Token standing behind him supportively. Clyde’s voice shook with fear and tears as he struggled to speak. “Pretzelcoat, I’m really…”

“QUETZALCOATL!!!” The voice roared with indignation. Clyde shrieked in fear.

“For God’s sake, this will never work.” Craig muttered, starting forward. Before he could get too far, Jimmy suddenly swung around on his crutches and knocked Craig onto the couch, then sat on his lap and braced his crutches on the floor; Craig struggled, but Jimmy had him firmly pinned in place.

“Quetzac…quatalza…sir, I’m very sorry.” Clyde managed through his tears. “Please don’t eat my friends or AAAAAAAGHHHH!”

The house suddenly lit up again. All Craig could hear from the kitchen was Token’s voice, as his friend shrieked: “They’re gone!”

This was a nightmare. It had to be.

Clyde looked around in a blind panic. He was standing in what looked like some ancient temple out of “Tomb Raider”. The figures surrounding him were massive. There was the snake thing, bigger than he could have ever imagined, its body stretching so far out into the distance that it seemed to go on forever. There was a tall woman, who looked vaguely like his dead mother; something in the anger in her face reminded him of his mom screaming at him about the toilet seat. She wore a crown on her head that looked like the moon. Then he saw a tall, seriously ripped guy that looked like an NFL player, wearing a massive golden crown. Next to him stood a towering, imposing figure with black stripes on his face and holding a strange black mirror…Clyde decided he was too terrified to look at the rest and stared at the floor instead. He wanted his dad. ~~~~

“SPEAK, CRAIG TUCKER.” The voice seemed even more powerful now.

“I…” Clyde choked with fear. “I’m really…I…” he shook with sobs, trying to get the words out.

“You are not Craig Tucker.” The NFL player proclaimed. “My son is fearless. Who are you, mortal child?”

Clyde began wailing again through his tears, more scared than he had ever been before.

The serpent roared with fury. “BETRAYAL!!!”

Clyde screamed as the snake shot forward at him.

The boys stared in horror at the now-empty kitchen. Jimmy’s heart pounded in his chest as he stared at the spot where Clyde had stood. Fear gripped him; was Clyde even alive? Slowly turning, he stared at Craig. Calmly, deliberately, he leaned his right crutch against the counter, then, with a shriek of rage, he punched the taller boy directly in the jaw. His fist landed with a satisfying crack.

“Whoa!” Token shouted, grabbing Jimmy’s shoulder and trying to pull him back. Tweek scrambled to get in front of Craig protectively.

“This is all your fault!” Jimmy raged at Craig, angrily shoving Token away, then lurching forward and grabbing Craig’s shirt collar for support. “You had to be a stubborn a-a-a-a-asshole, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t think he’d take Clyde!” Craig sounded genuinely remorseful. “I thought he wouldn’t fall for it, and that he’d make you get me anyway!”

Tweek struggled to break them apart.

“Get out of my way, T-t-t-tweek!” Jimmy snarled, cursing his stutter as he shoved the blond boy aside, trying to get to Craig for another punch. “Let g-g-g-let goooo of me, Token!” Ignoring him, Token had his arms wrapped around Jimmy and was doing his best to pull the boy off Craig. As they continued to fight, all four boys tumbled to the ground. Craig tried to grab Jimmy and push him off, but thanks to years of crutches, physical therapy, and sports and competitions at camp, Jimmy had the strongest arms in the group. He pulled his arm back to punch Craig with all of his strength, but Tweek and Token managed to work together to pull Jimmy off of Craig.

“Jimmy, enough.” Token said firmly. “We can be angry with Craig later, let’s figure this out. There has to be some way we can help Clyde.”

Tweek helped Craig get back on his feet, still eyeing Jimmy warily, but Jimmy’s anger had drained away and been replaced with worry for Clyde. “Craig, is there anybody you can ask for help? Your birth father, or somebody?” The blond boy asked nervously.

Craig started to shake his head, then suddenly spun around. He ran up the stairs; the others followed him and got there just in time to see Craig pull open the drawer in his nightstand and take out a gold coin. Craig then grabbed another pair of jeans and pulled them on, before leading the boys into the bathroom. “Hold the light.” He instructed, handing his flashlight to Token and turning the shower on; after a moment they were able to get a slight rainbow. Craig immediately threw the gold coin in. “Oh Goddess, accept my offering.” The others stared in surprise as it disappeared. “I need to speak to Nico di Angelo.”

The rainbow shimmered. Tweek, Token, and Jimmy’s mouths fell open as the image of a cabin interior appeared. To Jimmy’s astonishment, they saw two teenage boys shirtless and kissing on one of the beds. “Nico?” Craig called out uncertainly, sounding embarrassed.

The two teenagers broke apart, both blushing and looking around. The dark haired boy’s eyes fell on them. “Craig?”

“GAH!” Tweek shrieked, his face flaming red. “Oh Jesus! Hi Nico, hi Will AAAAAGHHHH!”

“Hi guys.” Craig looked embarrassed at the situation. “Sorry, but I need your help.”

“OK.” Still blushing, the dark haired one rolled over and grabbed his shirt from the floor, then sat up. The blonde was laughing next to him, totally shameless. Jimmy could relate to that. “What’s wrong?”

“Guys, this is Nico, the blond guy is Will. These are my friends Jimmy and Token. Umm…remember when I flipped off Inti?”

“You did what!?” Nico sounded stunned.

“You were unconscious.” Will explained, still giggling.

“Anyways, apparently it set off some kind of war in South America, and-“

“Wait.” Nico interrupted, eyes narrowing. Will stopped laughing as he sat up. “Both camps are sending demigods to try and calm things down over there; all the Inca, Aztec and Mayan gods are about to go to war. That was you?!”

“I didn’t think it would get this out of hand!” Craig protested.

“We told you not to disrespect the Gods! We WARNED you there could be major consequences!” Nico sounded angry.

“Ok!” Craig protested. “So I screwed up! I admit it! But this weird snake thing-Quetzalcoatl-came to my house, and one of my friends pretended to be me! So then it grabbed him and disappeared and-“

“CRAIG TUCKER!!!” The voice roared with fury; the house darkened again. “YOU DARE LIE TO ME?!!!!”

“I’ll be right there.” Nico promised. “Are you at your house?”

“Yeah, and-“

“CRAIG TUCKER!!!! SHOW YOURSELF!!!!”

Nico waved his hand and the image vanished. Craig hesitantly left the bathroom and approached the stairs, when suddenly the closet banged open. Token and Jimmy leapt backwards in alarm, but Nico stumbled out, his dark hair messy and his face flushed. Will followed behind him, finally wearing a shirt again.

“Sounds like he’s back in the kitchen again.” Craig told them. Together, they headed down the stairs.

As Craig, Nico and Will led the way, a line popped into Jimmy’s head. Unable to resist making a joke, he leaned over to Token. “Wow, who would have g-g-g-guessed that two more guys would come out of the closet? C-c-c-craig’s a real trend setter!” Token snorted with laughter, but Craig pointedly ignored them.

After a quick whispered conversation, Nico waved the other four boys back; they retreated to the living room and out of sight. He and Will exchanged looks, then took a deep breath in unison. Gripping their hands together, they entered the room.

The sight inside would be terrifying for anybody else. The gigantic feathered head was larger than an SUV and was strangely beautiful; it reminded Nico of the majesty and power of a thunderstorm. He marvelled at the fact that Craig’s friend had been brave enough to talk to the deity.

“WHO ARE YOU?” The voice boomed.

“Hail, Lord Quetzalcoatl. I’m Nico di Angelo, son of Hades and Ambassador of Pluto. This is Will Solace, son of Apollo.”

“Lord Quetzalcoatl.” Will greeted him. Both boys knelt in reverence.

A moment of silence.

“AH, THE GREEKS. YOUR FRIENDS HAVE BEEN ACTIVE IN SOUTH AMERICA, ATTEMPTING TO CALM THE RECENT VIOLENCE. THEY HAVE BEEN HONORING OUR SHRINES PROPERLY; IT REFLECTS WELL UPON YOU.”

“Thank you, Lord Quetzalcoatl.” Nico spoke steadily. “We were asked here by Craig Tucker; apparently you came to speak with him and now one of his friends is missing?”

“THE MORTAL BOY WILL BE HELD UNTIL THE SITUATION IS RESOLVED.”

Will spoke next, using his “doctor” voice that he used on nervous patients. “Lord Quetzalcoatl, may I remind you that the boy is an innocent? He was not part of the insult and only sought to defuse the situation and assist his friend. Surely there can be no offense in that.”

“HE LIED TO US. I DO TAKE OFFENSE.”

“But surely a God as wise as yourself can see how an innocent child attempting to help his friend MEANT no insult?”

A pause. “YOU CARE FOR THE BOY? VERY WELL. I ASSURE YOU HE HAS NOT BEEN HARMED AND WILL BE RETURNED SAFELY AFTER THE CHILD OF INTI APOLOGIZES.”

“Is that what it will take to calm things down and allow your summit to continue?” Nico asked carefully. In truth, he felt anger and irritation bubble inside him; had Craig seriously interrupted the first date he and Will had enjoyed in weeks just because he was too stubborn to apologize? Seriously, how the hell were Thomas and Laura raising this kid?!

“CRAIG TUCKER MUST ADMIT HIS FAULT. HE MUST APOLOGIZE FOR HIS DISRESPECT TOWARDS INTI AND MYSELF. AT THAT POINT OUR SUMMIT CAN RESUME AND THE MORTAL BOY WILL BE RETURNED TO YOU.”

The demigods returned to the living room. “Craig, you have to apologize to him.” Nico’s voice was firm. He intended to give Craig complete hell once this was over, but first things first.

Craig bristled. “I still think that-“

“Nobody cares!” Tweek screeched. Everybody looked at him in shock. “Nobody cares about your pride or your reasons. Just apologize and get Clyde back!” Growling with rage, he stormed forward and grabbed Craig’s shirt by the collar. “Grow up, get in there, and tell him what he wants to hear!”

Craig looked shocked. He carefully disentangled himself. “You’re right.” He admitted finally. “Sorry babe.” Nico and Will flanked him as he reluctantly moved forward and reentered the kitchen while Tweek, Jimmy and Token waited anxiously in the living room.

The massive eyes bored into him angrily. The house seemed to shake and tremble; Craig could just make out through the destroyed wall a massive tail, larger than Willzyx the whale, twitched and writhed behind the immense head. Craig felt a sense of awe at the size of the creature as he realized Quetzalcoatl was still wrapped around the house, and he was only seeing the smallest part of the deity. Craig took a deep breath, then spoke, his voice as flat as ever.

“I’m ready to apologize.”

The being rushed forward at them, there was the vague sense of being surrounded by feathers and flying through the air, and everything changed almost instantly.

Craig stared around in wonder. This wasn’t the temple of the guinea pigs; this place was totally different. He could see Quetzalcoatl before him, his massive body stretching out into the distance and his feathers glittering in the light as the wind blew through them. His father stood there looking the same as he had in Peru, only now his vacant smile was replaced by an angry glare. A woman stood next to Inti, looking at Craig with seething hatred; she looked similar to his mother, but much more terrifying. He had the distinct impression that if she could obliterate him where he stood she would do it without blinking; he carefully averted his eyes. Other forms surrounded them, but Craig ignored them.

“Bow.” A voice whispered. Craig looked up in surprise; he hadn’t realized that Quetzalcoatl had also taken Nico and Will with them.

Every instinct in Craig screamed at him to flip them all off. One look at Inti silenced them; he had the distinct impression that whatever had happened before, Inti was in no mood for any attitude. For the first time he truly understood why Will had panicked so much when he had argued with Inti in Peru. He bowed respectfully. “I’m sorry for flipping off Inti. And for telling him to flip off Quetzalcoatl.”

“AND?” Quetzelcoatl’s voice roared. Craig was thoroughly confused. Wasn’t that it?

“Your friend lied and pretended to be you.” Nico’s voice whispered in his ear. Craig closed his eyes; that wasn’t HIS fault!

“I’m also sorry for Clyde lying to you.”

A moment of silence, then Quetzalcoatl nodded. Suddenly a figure came running out of the crowd. “CRAIG!”

“Clyde!” Craig was thrilled to see his friend again. “Are you OK?”

“Yeah. This lady was looking after me.” He pointed to the woman next to Inti; she wore a crown that looked similar to the moon and somewhat resembled Craig’s mother. Her eyes glared down at him. Inti stepped forward.

“Craig, my child. Welcome. Thank you for apologizing.” Craig nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Inti seemed to realize that. “You are truly my son. I am the King of the Gods; I do not obey commands without protest. As the sun rises, it shines over everything; it does not negotiate, nor obey. It does what it intends to do. As my son, you have inherited this trait. It will serve you well as leader of your friends, but you must learn to control yourself.” Inti paused. “There is a time for leading, and a time for following. Had you continued to fight, I would have had no choice to kill you where you stand.” His eyes glowed, and suddenly Craig’s head was filled with images; people screaming as they were sacrificed, fire blasting down on monsters, a blazing heat from the sky punishing exiles as they stumbled through a jungle alone. Craig was suddenly fully aware of the kinds of things Inti had done to enemies, the absolute power he wielded, the true strength of the sun. He knew in that instant that Inti could have done far worse things to him than he had ever thought, and even if he was physically stuck in Peru his power over the sun could be used to devastating effects across the world if he wanted.

For the first time, Craig was afraid of him.

Inti’s eyes flew past him, and Craig suddenly realized that Nico and Will were keeping a respectful distance back. He forced himself to speak again.

“This is Nico Di Angelo, son of Hades, and Will Solace, Son of Apollo. They helped me rescue Tweek. This is my friend Clyde.”

As the two older demigods bowed and Clyde stared uncertainly, Inti suddenly became very tense. Craig opened his mouth to ask what he had done this time when the angry woman walked up next to Inti, clearing her throat pointedly while looking firmly at the God. Inti flushed, then spoke, his voice cautious.

“Craig, my…son, this is…” Inti took a deep breath. “This is my wife, Mama Quilla. Any mortal who views her will see their mother or wife in her.”

Instantly Craig understood the tension. Given his new respect for Inti and the expression on her face he didn’t quite dare insult her, so he settled for bowing. “Thank you for looking after Clyde.” He said politely.

She nodded icily, then turned to Clyde with a smile. “Goodbye, little man.”

“I don’t want to go!” Clyde wailed.

“What?!” Craig stared at him.

“Dude, my mom’s here!” He pointed at Mama Quilla. “I don’t want to leave her!”

“Clyde, that’s not…” Craig started, then stopped. The look on Clyde’s face was heartbreaking; he knew that in spite of his friend’s apparent cockiness, Clyde held a lot of guilt over his mom’s death. No matter how many times his friends or dad told him it wasn’t his fault, Clyde still believed that he was responsible.

“Craig, it’s my mom.” Clyde’s voice was insistent. “I can bring my dad over and he can open a new store in Peru, then we can be one family again just like before.”

Craig stared helplessly at Clyde, not having any idea what to do. Mama Quilla, for her part, was stroking Clyde’s hair absently while glaring between Craig and Inti. He looked at his father for help, but the man appeared as lost as he was.

“All right.” Craig said finally. “I’m staying too.”

“What?” Clyde asked.

“We’re best friends. I’ll get Tweek and we can stay here together. Token and Jimmy can visit us, but we can stay here with your mom.”

“Yeah!” Clyde looked ecstatic.

The Goddess glared hatefully at Craig, then knelt down. “Clyde, you need to go back to your father.”

“But…”

“I’ll always be with you, but you belong at home. You need to grow up, marry a wonderful woman, be FAITHFUL to her…” she glared at Inti as she added that part, “…and have children and grandchildren.”

“I don’t want to lose you again.” Clyde sniffled, on the verge of tears.

“You won’t, Clyde.” Her voice was soft. Clyde nodded bravely. Craig was touched by her devotion; she was obviously pretending to be Clyde’s mom to make him feel better. “Vaarwel, schatje.” She kissed him lightly on the cheek; he touched his face tenderly where she had kissed him. Craig wondered what she had said but decided not to ask; it seemed too personal.

“Vaarwel, mam.” He answered emotionally.

“Goodbye, Craig.” Inti told him gently. “Goodbye, Clyde.” He waved his hand, and they reappeared in the kitchen.

Tweek raced in at the sound of movement. The first thing he saw was the wall and door repairing itself, the broken glass and shattered wall moving backwards like a movie playing in reverse. Then he saw Craig and Clyde, with Nico and Will right behind them. He charged at them, throwing his arms around Craig and Clyde at the same time; dimly he realized that Token and Jimmy were doing the same thing and they were a giant ball of hugs, everybody talking at once.

Craig predictably squirmed his way out of their grips. Slowly the other boys separated.

“I’m fine.” Clyde told them reassuringly. “My mom was there! She looked after me until Craig came and talked to them.” Craig glanced at Clyde but didn’t say anything.

“Craig apologized.” Nico told them. “They should leave you alone for now.”

“Hurray! Lemon bars for everyone!” Clyde cheered. He raced over to the counter, where he had put the baked treats he had brought and began handing them out.

After handing Nico and Will each a lemon bar Craig pulled them out of the kitchen. “Thanks. I mean it.”

“Any time.” Will told him affectionately.

“Not any time!” Nico snapped. “You almost started a war in South America and almost got your friend killed! You need to get over yourself, Craig. You might not get scared easily, but you can’t punch your way out of everything!”

Craig nodded reluctantly. “You’re right. I just…doesn’t it ever bother you? The Gods put people we care about in danger, they just order us to go fix their problems, and they could fix everything easily but choose not to. You’re Greek; Zeus could just throw lightning at his problems, but instead he sends a bunch of kids. It’s not fair!”

The two older boys exchanged looks. “You’re right.” Will told him. “It’s not fair. It’s the way it is though, and in truth the Gods need us; it’s not matter of laziness, there are rules in place and they seriously CAN’T intervene in a lot of cases. If Zeus had taken out the guinea creatures last time, for example, it would have levelled your town and started a major forest fire. Do you see what I mean?”

Craig reluctantly nodded.

Nico nodded. “Just try to be diplomatic. Now, Will and I were in the middle of a date, so we’re heading back now. Try not to start any more wars.” The son of Hades pulled a gold coin out and handed it to Craig. “In case you need to reach me again.”

Craig took it carefully.

As the two demigods disappeared into a shadow, Craig sat down on the couch in the living room. The others came in a few minutes later, carrying plates of food; Tweek brandished yet another cup of coffee. Tricia came downstairs again looking bored.

“You survived?” She asked flatly.

“Yeah.” Craig spoke in the same tone.

Tricia nodded and went into the kitchen for food. Craig leaned against Tweek fondly. “Thanks for talking sense into me. I should have listened to you earlier.”

Tweek smiled affectionately at him and held his hand. Craig smiled back at him, then turned again to look at Jimmy.

“Jimmy?”

Jimmy carefully hobbled over. Craig didn’t know what to say, but to his relief Jimmy held out a fist. “Friends?”

“Friends.” Craig fist-bumped him. The nice thing about Jimmy was that they didn’t really need to say much; they just got each other.

Clyde was still babbling about meeting his mom, and Craig decided not to correct him; it had meant too much for him to be able to speak to her once more. He settled for lunging and grabbing his hat back.

It was over.


End file.
